[KellyStacy]

Please someone help.We have met a wonderful birthmom.So far everything is going fine.She allows us to go to the doctor visits and we are praying this is the baby for us.In the beginning we decided on pictures and an occasional phone call from me to the birthmom saying all is well with the baby.We did bring up the fact of visits -at first the birthmom wanted visits then after talking to her husband decided against visits.As hopeful adoptive parents our opinion was no visits.We feel this would be too complicated and would just confuse the child as he/she grew older.We thought all this was discussed and now the birthmom is once again bringing up visits.It just seems like all of a sudden its changed to an open adoption.This is not something we want.From the start we have been nothing but honost.I tried to tell the birthmom how I feel,but she keeps insisting I have nothing to worry about she would never take the baby. I feel that in time i will tell this child (when the time is right) about the adoption but with being in contact with the biological family you just never know if someone might slip witht he information before I get a chance to explain.There are a lot of fears I have with the visiting.Please if someone could maybe give me some advice.We feel we need to once again tell them how as hopeful adoptive parents we need to be honost and let them know again up front visits are just not what we want.