Candiekisses - thank you for this post!
I'm a 20 year old adoptee in a closed adoption. I have all of my non-identifying information and I'm in contact with a search angel who has been helping me search for a little over a year now. No luck yet...but I try to be positive about it!
I am sure that your daughter thinks about you. I am POSITIVE that she is curious and probably even wants to meet you someday. I know that I think about my birthmom and my adoption every single day...I always wonder if my birthmom is thinking of me, especially on my birthdays, my high school graduation, etc. Mother's Day is always rough for me, too.
Being an adoptee is an incredibly complex emotional roller coaster, and no emotion is simple when you are a young person struggling to form a complete identity. I want to search for my birthmother, but I do not necessarily feel that I would be open to a "relationship" with her. Sometimes my reason for searching is purely factual - I want my medical history, want to know my ethnicity, want to know if I have bio or half siblings. Other days I want to be able to hug my birthmom & to sit and talk with her about her life. Some days I feel lucky for having been adopted, some days I resent the fact that I am not my parent's biological daughter and I HATE knowing that I'm adopted.
I do hope that my birthmom expresses an interest in contacting me at some point, and I hope that she is searching for me, too. The chances of that actually being true are slim to none, or at least I think they are, but if she were to contact me, I'd be open to it - it would depend on where I was in my life.
Good luck to you!!!
