[L-A-J-C-R-C]

Hi Dee,

We are in the process of adopting our 2 foster babies that we've had for 2 years TODAY!!! Our oldest is now 3. She came to us very angry and still had a nasty temper. Her mom is bi-polar and we thought maybe that's what we see in her. When I spoke to the pediatrician about it she feels it may be an attachment disorder so she's sending us to Columbus Childrens Hospital to have her evaluated.

Some kids that are in foster care definitely do have Reactive Attachment Disorder, PTSD, and a host of other diagnoses. My advice would be to just read the reports carefully and make a decision based on what is said there. We had to turn down a placement for a 12 year old girl after receiving her info and found out she had attempted suicide and was still acting out sexually. These were behaviors I did not feel we were ready to handle. The children do not know that the are being looked at until after you have read their reports, agreed to go to the next step, which is a meeting with everyone involved with these kids. At that meeting you can ask further questions, receive any additional information, etc. After that meeting you are again given an opportunity to decide if you feel they and you would be a good fit. After you say yes they will start visits VERY SLOWLY and slowly work them up until the children are in your home.

We currently have 4 foster kids altogether. The 15 y/o is the oldest sibling of the 2 and 3 y/o we're adopting. He has ADHD and obsessive behaviors (all managable). Our 2 y/o has severe milk and milk protein allergies and doesn't sleep through the night (we've had him since he was weeks old). We believe he, too, is hyperactive as well as his sister, our 3 y/o. And finally we have a 19 month old medically fragile baby. He's been with us for 8 months and has been hospitalized 9 times (we were just discharged yesteray).

Finally, all I want you to know is that the children that come to us in care CAN AND DO adjust very well to their adoptive homes! I can't guarantee that ALL OF THEM do but a good majority of them make the adjustment well. It may take you time and a lot of patience but it definitely can be done.

Good luck and please keep me posted. I'm sorry this went on so long but I hope this info helps you in some way.

Michelle