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I would strongly, and I do mean strongly recommend you hook up with a father's rights group. No, your ex shouldn't be able to railroad you like this. But, she shouldn't have been able to alienate you and prevent you from seeing your daughter for the last several years. At this point, its actually quite easy for her to prove abandonment and get your parental rights terminated. Unfortunately while this country has come a long way in recognizing the rights of father's, we have a LONG way to go.
Please, you should have hooked up with those who battle this frequently several years ago. You are now fighting an uphill battle to keep your rights to your daughter and you could very well lose your child in this fight. Do a websearch for father's rights groups and start contacting everyone you can get hold of. They will know how to deal with this. I doubt many of us here have much to offer you. But, the father's rights organizations were established and now have years of experience with the very issues you are battling right now.
If you truly want your daughter then your best bet is to get connected, get a lawyer and fight with everything you've got before your ex shows up in court and convinces some judge that you are a dead-beat who hasn't bothered to be a father for the last 3 years of this child's life.
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