Honu - I think most of us have been in your shoes. I went through infertility for 6.5 years - last year my DH and I gave it our best effort to try to make it work, went to a specialist, did clomid and injectables. What happened is that I was told I had low progesterone, supposedly and easy fix...well apparently not. Our insurance covered $7k which were thankful for but it only gave us 6 months with the specialist. We came to a cross roads and had to decide do we want to pay for $3k a month for injectables and all the treatment that goes with it (and stress for that matter) or do we want to find a way to fund adoption. Right before I went to the specialist I had a heart to heart with my DH and told him that if this does not work that I was pretty sure I wanted to move onto adoption. I started calling and getting information packets from agencys. My DH was still in the "infertility and trying" mind set. By the time that we got to the end of the line he was frustrated, I was frustrated and we both just needed some time. I stopped treatment in March 04', kept researching adoption while we were not trying anymore. Started getting serious in June about it and trying to figure out how to fund it (more expensive than I ever imagined). Then I found a local agency that I got the warm fuzzies from and we decided to sign on with them...but not before I checked references and such. We signed on with them in August...so it's just been 3 months but we were told 6 months average wait to do homestudy and be put on a list for birthmothers to view our profile and then it was up for grabs depending on birthmother needs. Right now it seems like the process is moving slow but I am trying to keep myself busy with projects around the house and creating a nursery. I feel the same as you and the other women do that I don't ever think that i will be over the "hurt" caused by the fact that I was not able to conceive.. but I somehow feel that I was meant to adopt (religion aside). It's hard to explain, but it just feels right..
And, I can totally understand what you meant about not wanting posts saying that you were not ready to move on.. I think only "you and your DH" will know what right for you..not some counselor or friend or relative
I felt the same way, PLEASE don't tell me that, you have not been in my shoes.. I think a lot of ladies can relate to that as well.
I also have good days and bad days... Mostly when I hear of unwanted pregnancies or see women or young mothers in the store with babies.. just wishing it was me
sort of envious..
Beckalynn - like I said above, I was were you are a year ago. In my heart I just did not feel as though Clomid/injectables were going to work but my DH wanted to give it a good try before moving on. My advice is to keep researching and asks specifics of the agencys you are looking into - like what counseling they offer bmoms (very important) before and after pg.. and for how long. What the costs to you are, what the average wait is, what classes you'll be required to take. If people are snotty to you on the phone, use your gut feeling.
Hope that helps