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My daughter and I were reunited almost a year ago so I'm no expert but I'd like to share whats helped me so far. Like you I also feared that that after meeting she'd be lost to me once again and I knew I couldn't take that.
One of the things that helped me was to not have any expectations. I simply went in knowing and reminding myself that I was visiting with a related stranger. I also took (and continue to take) it slowly. She reassured me that she'd never be away from me permenently and after several months I began to believe it. Even now that our visits are decreasing I don't doubt that we'll continue to have a relationship.
Its scary...for them and for us. Theres a forum here where the search guru discusses the stages of reunion that was very helpful for me albiet after the fact.
I hope everything goes well for you. Tara
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