[the_butterfly]

July 26th is a moment frozen in time for me. I was doing my daily email check and... there came a message from my bdaughter! 21 years since I held her, 21 years of wondering, 21 years of longing, and now suddenly... there she is and I'm reduced to quaking and shaking with happiness and fright all at the same time.

Tomorrow it will be 3 months and we have planned our reunion a month from today. We'll be together for 5 days.

I spend a lot of days crying for no apparent reason. But something did come to me last evening. I'm realizing that I'm so afraid that after our reunion she won't want to continue the relationship and I'll lose her all over again.

I've been reading of other reunions where the child emotionally backs up. Perhaps by keeping a level head and perspective, and keeping a slow pace on the relationship on my end it will grow slowly rather than burn brightly and flicker out.

Does anyone have any thoughts on how to develop relationships with your birthchild? We have been emailing quite a bit until recently and now it's been a month since I've heard from her. I know there will be a reunion soon and the unknown will be known so I am waiting.

}i{ Butterfly