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there is an article here somewhere called Why wont my birthmother meet me? (at least I'm pretty sure thats what its called) You could probably do a search for it. It was posted by thesearchguru. Sorry I only placed a few months ago, into an open adoption, so I dont have much advice.
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Mom of Karma 4/7/98
Nmom of Kara 5/5/04
Feingold for pres in 2008!! (getting an early start  )
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