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twm -
Indy will be a great source of information for you as a single dad and has adopted all older children so will be able to help you there. You can pm him, if you know how to do that?
As far as the Colorado thing...
We adopted from foster care but did go through an agency. Our reasons for that were simply because we wanted someone who would be there just for us during the process and act as a go between if we needed that. Plus, even after 2 years, we still maintain a relationship with our caseworker and she is still a great support system should we need it. The agency also provides support groups with other parents which we don't attend much, but it's nice to know they are there. If you would like a recommendation for our agency name etc., pm me.
Our homestudy took about a month total I think. (I can't really remember) It's the other stuff that takes awhile, fingerprinting, criminal background check etc. can take up to 2-3 months. So if I remember correctly, they always say about 3 months for the complete homestudy process.
We were notified of a possible match in mid-May 2002 and our children came home permanently on August 1st 2002. So for us, it only took about 3 months between the match, visitation, meetings etc. to being placed. After that, it took until April of 2003 to finalize but could have been finalized in January. (It all depends on if the child is legally free for adoption, sw visits go well, if you feel things are going well etc.)
As far as a girl... It isn't necessarily a "man adopting a girl" discrimination that might intefere with you adopting a girl. In my experience and opinion, it's more due to the fact that a lot of girls in foster care may have been abused by a male and being placed with a single dad might not be in the girl's best interest. A lot of older girls who have been abused by males are placed with single moms or 2 mom families because they simply cannot trust a male nor would they feel safe with a dad, much less a single dad.
If you only want 1 child for now, I would say they will probably look for a boy to place with you. If there are girls who have not been abused by a male, then they might consider a placement for you.
My husband and I adopted a sibling group of 4 and there were a lot of sibling issues to deal with. Took some time to work through those, so if you are seriously considering a sibling placement as a single dad, I hope you have a great support system to help you out. You will need it! Again, Indy will have suggestions for you on this as he does have 7 boys.
Lastly...for us, working with Colorado systems was a relatively easy process. Our kids were in CO though, so we didn't deal with any other state issues etc. I found our sw and her office to be very competent and honest and answered our questions to the best of their ability.
Good Luck on your road to parenthood!
Crick
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