|
Hi,
I have birth children and am adopting an older child. I'm also adopted. I was delighted when our third birth child was a girl, after 2 boys, so I can understand how special it is to have a daughter.
I can tell from you're post you are worried about the reaction you will get.
I think when you adopt it is very different to having a birth child.If it is an older child the bonding can be difficult, and I think genetics plays a very large part in personality.Although I lived all my life with my adoptive parents,I would say that my personality is more like that of my birth parents.
I think every child needs to feel accepted and loved for who they are- adopted children even more than most,as they already feel rejected in many cases.
i think going in to adoption you have to realise that in some cases a close bond does not develop. You could feel on a totally different wavelength to an adopted daughter. She may reject the love and guidance you want to give her.
I know i'm painting a black picture here, but for me it has worked best by seeing adoption as a way to give something to a child,and there has been a period of time when I have received nothing back.
I know of some adoptive parents who feel they love and love and love, yet never get the same amount of love back.
I don't want to discourage you, but adoption can be tough. The bonding between an adopted child and birth children can also be difficult.
On a positive note, 18 months down the line things are getting easier for us,and I think there is a bond that is developing well despite the struggles.
Good luck,
Jude
|