Thank you everyone for your replies. You have answered my concerns.
This situation has not come from our agency but thru a friend who lives down there and works with this young woman. I have been told that this young woman was never happy about this pregnancy and wanted to get an abortion from the beginning. At that time, my friend mentioned to her that she has some very good friends that are looking to adopt, just incase you don't want to have an abortion. She said she was SURE she wanted this abortion. Her boyfriend of 3 years persuaded her to not abort and to at least have the baby. She is 21 and has been with her boyfriend for 3 years. He is older and according to her and my friend, he is very lazy. My friend has met him as her and her husband have done things with this couple. She has said he is the nicest guy in the world to meet but he is stone cold lazy. He can't hold down a job for more then 2 - 3 weeks. She has told him that in order for her to keep the baby and raise it together, he needs to do three things. 1. Get his drivers license back, 2. get a job, 3. get someplace to live.
The baby is now due to be born in 4 weeks and he has not done one thing. Not even pay the $49 fee to reinstate his license. She has broken up with him and moved back home. Her parents support an adoption plan as they want her to be done and away from this older lazy boyfriend. She say's her boyfriend will sign the adoption papers because he realizes he can't take care of the baby. They are not sure if they want an open adoption.
My friend has told me that the entire time she is pregnant, she never expressed any moments of doubt of wanting this child for herself, of loving this baby or bonding with this baby. She would make comments about hating the baby because he is making her fat. Hating the baby because now she can't enjoy her life. She has said she never wanted to be a mother. She kept the baby to please her boyfriend in hopes he would change. She has visited several adoption agencies but has not signed yet. She keeps asking my friend about us, if we will adopt her baby. She knows about our last two adoptions falling thru. At first I told my friend "no", but then it started bothering me and I couldn't let it go so I came here to post.
I am so unsure of this. This would be another young women who has no experience with motherhood. I know what she is saying now can change. I don't know if I am healed enough from the last failed placement two weeks ago to take this plunge. Part of me feels like if this happens, this little boy ALMOST replaces our last little boy. KWIM?
Also, without the help of an agency, I'm a little scared. I did tell my friend to go ahead and talk to her coworker and let us know. We are open to talking with her.
But, I really don't know about any of this. I don't know what to believe or how far I should let myself get involved. The only reason I keep considering this, is because this little guy just feels like he is falling into our lap vs. waiting to be matched and hoping and praying it works out. I wasn't looking for this situation but it found us. I don't know. I just don't know. I am scared of being hurt again too soon. I am sooooooo scared of flying down there and home without a baby. Having to keep a face up until I can get home and collapse, KWIM?
Grrrrrr..... I can't wait for all of this to be done some day.