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I think the agency was as open with me as they could be. They openly admitted there were things they suspected, but that hadn't been documented. Having trained in journalism, I asked a LOT of questions. I didn't want any surprises if I could help it. I couldn't put together the right team to help me if I didn't know about something.
At the staffing meeting, they really tried to scare me away. They knew it would take someone very determined to work with this child. The staffing took 4 1/2 hours. The adoption coordinator for our area has been doing his job over 20 years and had never been in a staffing that went that long. But he commented, "They should all be like this." We had everyone in the room who could provide input, including a former foster Mom, the child's mentor couple, case workers and supervisors from my county and the child's, both adoption coordinators, etc. We had the supervisor at the group home where she was staying come and talk to us. It was pretty comprehensive.
That said, I'm having a discouraging day. My child is in a therapeutic treatment facility and lost her home pass because of behavior. She's very good with me (although we should be past any honeymoon period by now); but she can be a terror over there. It's almost like Jekyll & Hyde. I've never seen her in a melt down. Sunday night, she was violent with staff (kicking) and she scratched up her arms. I talked to her the next day and she seemed much calmer. Not sure why she chose not to use the coping skills she's been learning to rely on. She appeared to have straightened up, but today she got in a fight with someone else, so she lost her right to go to this women's forum this weekend. It would've been great - helping girls with self-esteem.
I'm frustrated. She has to do the work. We have family therapy tomorrow, so maybe more information will be forthcoming.
EJ
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