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First off I don't thik you shoudl have to "confess" to neglect you didn't inflict, contrary, I think you should be able to sue the state for wrongful adoption for not disclosing the facts to you.
that being said, I grieve for you. I've been in a similar position only it was my bio daughter hurt by my oldest nephew who had lived with us for 7 years. The aftermath is horrible, the guilt is tremendous. I love him very much and visit often, but cannot allow him in the home after he completes RTC. His younger brother had a very difficult time with all of this and acted out significantly in the last year, so much so that he is now out of the home as well and reunifiying with his mother. It's a sad situation, and many of us, although our circumstances are different, we know the pain you're going through.
My thoughts are with you.
J
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Happy mom to 2 daughters, one by birth the other by adoption
Adoption journey: homestudy completed 7/04, signed with facilitator 11/04, matched 12/04, daughter born 2/05, adoption final 4/05
Fost/Adopt journey: legal risk, preadoptive placement of V 10/08, state went to reuniting 1/09, V back w/family 7/09, state seeking custody again 11/09 - too late for us.
9/09 preadoptive match made from photolisting with boy T 7 y.o., will meet in person 10/09, placement 11/09
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