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Hi Becky,
Please don't read my comments as any sort of attack on aparents. I think aparents are wonderful people and I dont have any problems with them. Although I can never understand what an aparent has to go through, I have great empathy for their situation (and I believe that it is just as difficult to be an aparent as it is to be a birthparent). I spend a lot of time trying to know aparents - thats why I read this section LOL. Additionally, you might be interested to know that I am the first one to jump to an aparents defense when a discussion with birthparents turns towards anger. so, please dont see me as attacking as that is not what I am doing.
Also, please note that I dont have a problem with laws that protect aparents, adoptees, and birthparents. I realize that many bdads will never be found and that at some point the parental rights of the bdad must be terminated in order to put the child in a stable home.
However, the prevailing attitude of the bdad as a bad guy or as an obstacle is very real (although certainly not for all aparents). One needs to only look at the posts of this forum. Just look at sugarbabysmommy (what a great name) post in this thread and what she was told about birthfathers (btw SBM - it's cool that your child's bdad is involved) There are precious few posts where there is a concern that a child might be placed that the bdad might want to parent himself. The concern is always about the legal rights of the aparents only. I suppose that is natural as one is inclined to look out for their own needs. This doesnt mean that their arent aparents that care about the bdads or that those aparents who dont are bad people. I simply want to raise awareness. As I said above, I think the issue is societal rather than an issue with aparents.
As far as being quiet in this forum, I am always respectful and I will continue to make respecftul posts when I want to use my voice to raise awareness. I am very sensitive to the nature of threads and I try hard not to post anything that inappropriate to the topic being discussed (or I choose simply not to post). If you thought my post was disrespectul please let me know (maybe PM me) and I will be more careful next time.
Take Care
David
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