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Hi Taurusgal29,
I agree with your post. I realize that there are MANY bad bdad's out there and they deserve the wrath directed at them. No doubt. But, I also believe that there are many more good ones than people realize.
I just worry that the ones that might care or who might come forward and share responsibility are so pummeled by society, and told how awful they are, that they choose to run or to remain silent. It is simply not safe for them. But, this doesnt mean they dont care. They are not taught the proper responsibility in school, they face peer pressure, get bad advice from their parents, the adoption agencies and lawyers treat them as a barrier, etc.
Imagine a young boy who is contacted that a girl he was with is pregnant. The agency/lawyers pressure him to sign by telling him how great a home he will go to and that is the desire of the birthmom, his friends say "man you're lucky", and his dad tells him - "stop being such a screwup! Let that tramp give up the baby". etc., etc., etc. I wasnt "contacted" because I was close to the bmom - but I heard all these things and they affect you. It is easy to assert your rights as a man, but it is much harder to do it when you are just a boy.
Who tells him. "Yes, that is your child and your responsiblity and I will help you and support you through this. Adoption might be the best choice for your child, but you need to be involved as you are an important part of the process......."
I even think the sides that try to help the bdads are misguided. Their mantra is "know your rights!". I would rather hear them say "be responsible and become part of the decision. Support the birthmother and the baby".
I am hoping that my little voice can help change perceptions of bdads just a touch.
btw - It is my son's birthday today so I am a little wound up. Tough day.
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