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Hi,
We do not have any bio-children. We planned on begining the adoption process before we even suspected infertility. We really believed God wanted us on this path. We tried to concieve then a few months down the road when the orientation classes started, we began the adoption training. Not too far into it, we stopped the process and tried to concieve (we realized adoption wasn't as easy as we'd thought and I my dh and I were only 22 and 23). After seeing doctors to investigate why we weren't getting pregnant (and had no answers), we went back and started adoption again (this was several months later) hoping we would have a child either way. We didn't get confirmation of why we were infertile until a couple of years later, right before our son was placed and it was just becuase we were curious that we even sought our results. It was a short grieving time for us becuase we were just waiting for a chance to go to committee on a child.
You should get most of your questions answered in January when you begin your classes. In our state (Oregon), the main difference between legal risk and foster/adopt is:
Legal risk is usually when TPR (Termination of parental rights) is underway and the state is just waiting for it to complete. These are kids that have been in the foster system but are ready for their adoptive homes. There are some risks sometimes like if a relative pops out of the blue, or the court finds something wasn't completed in the process. Usually here there is about a 90% chance that the adoption will go through fine. It takes some time to complete.
Foster to adopt is usually when you sign up to be a foster parent and hope that one of the children that comes into your home, that you might be able to adopt them. You can request children where it looks like there is a decent possibility that they will go for adoption, but there are never any guarantees and it is very risky! Keep in mind, a foster parent's goal first is reunification with the parent as the state tries to help them get back on track.
Legally free children are children from the foster system where their parents rights are removed and the state is ready to place them into an adoptive home. There really is no risk (that I have heard) in these cases.
I know I mentioned most of this above, but I hope it brings more clarification to your question. I don't mean to speak for Riley, but, when a child's placement is disrupted, this can mean the foster family was no longer able to keep them in thier home for whatever reasons whether they were just foster or adoptable.
It is quite a roller-coaster ride, but adoption of any sort usually is anyway. I haven't yet heard anyone mention an easy way to adopt. I personally believe that there is a special appreciation that you have for your child when you choose to adopt. We never concidered international adoption personally or private. I didn't desire a brand new baby, and I wanted to be able to accept one more child out of the system.
It's nice too because when you adopt though the state, most children are eligable (at least in our state) for a medical card until they are 18 (medical, dental and mental health), an adoption subsidy until they are 18 (like the monthly foster care payment), and other services that vary by state. Also adoption through the state is usually free, or if there are some fees, they are refundable. There is also a huge adoption credit on your taxes after finalization. I swear I had no idea how much help was out there for these kids until we went to training. Most of these kids may be concidered "special needs" due to age, in many places race, mental, physical, or emotional issues from abuse or neglect, drug exposure... Our boys are relatively healthy. The average person wouldn't know they are special needs so don't let that word scare you nessisarily. Both my boys were exposed to heavy drugs in the womb. I believe God's hand has been on them but they have had rough times sleeping, eating, becoming over stimulated more easily... But both are beautiful and smart. We will be watchful as they get to school age and if anything arises, we have the means to help them.
I hope this clears up a little more about state adoption.
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