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I'm sorry, I should clarify. Foster to adopt means different things in different states. Typically when a child is concidered "foster" the goal of the state is reunification with the family first. So, you would be a foster parent with the hopes of adopting a child but cooporating with your state. If this isn't possible to reunite, it can be decided by a committee whether the child should remain with you or go to another committee where you may be represented with other interested families. It is very risky.
Another foster to adopt situation might be a legal risk situation where the state has begun or moving towards TPR (termination of parental rights) and the goal is adoption. If you were chosen, your family would go to committee againt other families and if you were the famliy chosen, you would be the adoptive placement. The child would have similar status as foster while you are waiting for your adoption assistance and finalization to take place. There is a little less risk, but there still could be some risks involved. Personally I don't concider this a "foster/adopt" but some do.
Our first son was legal free meaning all parent rights were terminated (some cases relinquished). He was of similar status as foster until finilization though there was no risk we could see with his case.
In our youngest son's case, he was foster. We only wanted to adopt though. His cw contacted us saying it looked like it might go to adoption though was hard to tell this early. There had already been one disrupted placement with him so they wanted to place in an adoptive home that would be open to the risks, should he go for adoption, he would be less likely to be moved. Our state is very careful with these kinds of placements as they don't want it to look like a back door adoption. This case was very difficult for us, extrememly risky for us but has turned more to our favor.
Some families go through losing many foster placements, it doesn't look like we will lose ours. Talk to others about the risks. I believe there is always a degree of risk in everything but the end result, when you have your child is worth it in my opinion.
Both my kids took some time to get used to. I fell in love with my first son right away, but the unconditional love took some time as I got to know him. My second son, my heart was so guarded, I loved him as a person, but it took time to fall in love. I have heard this with biological children too though. I didn't want to have my heart guarded with my 2nd son. I think it was just my mind and heart's way of helping me keep my sane durring everything.
Good luck with everything. Check out other threads too and read people's experiences with this. It will give you a better picture I think.
Melissa
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