I didn't notice the questions from JenWen until after my last post. So here's what I can answer:
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But would like to start off with an "easy" placement. (Of course, we're not expecting a "Stepford" Child.. just hoping for a fairly average teen. Is that unrealistic?
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Anything is possible, but I wouldn't expect any teen in the system to be "easy" or even fairly average. Most will be quite difficult compared to their peers. I've known 2 year olds in the system who curse like sailors, etc!
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About the homestudy process, I am a little nervous. Do they interview grandparents who do not live in the home?
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They will usually interview references that you list. But, during the entire process, you need to be as open and honest as possible. It would be better for them to hear about your past from you than to discover anything later on. And, if you are truthful and open about all things, they are more likely to trust and believe you even if somehow a conflicting story ever gets brought to light.
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My hubby is in his mid-forties, and I am in my mid-thirties. Is his being over 40 likely to cause us problems? Or is our adopting a teen going to make that less of an issue? Or, are we too young to adopt a teen?
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Age shouldn't be a factor. But, sometimes agencies have certain criteria to consider (for example, I am single and some agencies wouldn't accept me because they required a stay at home parent). However, I can't imagine your ages being an issue, you just should ask the question up front.
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How much info do you get about a child before you decide whether to commit or not? Do you get to meet? How much choice does the child have? Do you submit pictures of yourself, your home, etc?
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When adopting a child from foster care, they often like for a transition period so everyone gets to know each other. The problem here is the fost/adopt issue where the child may end up being returned to parent. I almost all cases though, you should get quite a bit of information regarding a child (although on paper some kids look quite a bit easier than in person!).
This is just my 2 cents. I'd suggest asking all of these questions to several agencies before you choose who you will work with and find the one that feels like the best fit. Of course, all of this varies by State and individual preference so I would also suggest taking all of our advice as just that!