[mumoffour]

HI,
I think when we lok through th epictures of children who wait and make a decision to apply for a specific child we make a committment at that point. It is like th eblue line apearing on a pregnancy test. It becomes more and more of a committment as the social workers take an interest and then say they are matching with us. From that point our pregnancy is confirmed and secure so our commitment and love to that child grows day by day.
We have had to withdraw from an adoption at that point before and it hurts like a miscarriage or still birth would. We were once turned down by the doption panel after meeting with a child several times over a six month period that was terrible. And hten last month we were 1 month away from introductions and handover when the child we applied for died. It was a loss of our daughter, in our hearts and moinds she had been our daughter for 5 months. We are grieving that loss as if she had been in our arms and yet she never was.
Yes committment begins very early in the process.
And yet so few people acknowledge our loss when things don't go as planned.
Hugs, give yourself time and then carry on.
much love