|
Although this thread seems to be over l would like to add a few comments, re Renda in particular. I`m also in the uk, where open adoptions are wrote about and spoken of by those in authority, l and my own family were told of this by social workers, and led to believe it was a choice within the uk system, only when it all became legal did it turn into a closed adoption, leaving the grandparents even more heartbroken then they already were at their much loved grandaughter going for adoption, initially being told they could see her four times a year, now not at all, one pic a year, both being 8oyrs its unlikely they will see her again, having regularly cared for her for two and a half years. I later heard social workers and legals talk of the confusion to children of open adoptions, which l would question, believing that children can accept they have a bmum who loves and visits them, be it they were unable to bring them up, and their main carer is an amum who loves them and will bring them up. I wonder how grown adoptees can say they prefer a closed adoption, when they never had an open one, but if they grow up happy and well balanced in a closed one, thats fine, even when the bmums suffer,
but it seems to me that their are a lot of adoptees, simular for children who grow up without their dads, who do look them up, often going to great lengths, and suffering a lot of stress over a long period of time to find their birth parents-families. Perhaps the uk is a little influenced by a class system, and the us is more advanced, liberal, and wiser, in seeing the importance of a childnot only knowing of its bmum-family, but having some contact, but their main allegiance is going to be to their main carer their amum, which can be painful for bparent, and they may need time to come to terms and heal, but hopefully they will keep contact over the years, the same for divorced dads, in most cases this is of benefit to a child, so that they will not be as likely to feel rejected or abandoned, that they were and always will be loved by their bfamily.
I`m sorry if this offends or upsets anyone, as it seems we all have different opinions, the above is mine, added to that l think closed adoptions are inhumane.
|