First, I am so sorry that you are being put in this position; wanting a child and being manipulated in such a cruel manner.
Lucyjoy is right...lots of red flags. What the county is doing is UNETHICAL and goes against sound clinical practice. If I knew which county you were speaking of and the worker's name I'd (me) file a grievance with the National Association of Social Workers for a violation of ethics (I'm not suggesting that you do that...I'm just saying what I would do). They should be giving you copies of all her pervious records and evaluations to read and see. You should check with the therapist and talk with that person...you should also see if the therapist is a Registered Clinician with
ATTACh to be sure the person is really competant and appropriate.
regards