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Mckenna,
I have lurked for years and rarely post...this thread really hit home for dh and me. My SIL and brother have not been able to conceive for 8 years. Dh and I are infertile. We chose to go down the adoption road -- SIL and brother did not. It's as simple as that. I can't judge their decisions. I don't know how to explain it. It's an accepted fact in our family. My SIL regularly asks how the waiting is going, tells me about dreams she's had regarding our little one -- but their decision is just different than ours. Please don't think there's any judgement in the next couple of statements; I'm simply trying to give you a little window into their decision. My brother and SIL love each other dearly and are two of the happiest most satisfied people that I know. They truly have a gift in that whatever life deals them, they are happy. Does this mean that they are passive? Yes, but for them it works and I don't feel my family has the right to feel sorry for them since they're not "sorry" for themselves. I just offer this up as an alternative to what others have said about why people don't adopt...it doesn't mean that they're afraid of any stories they've heard or haven't faced their infertility...it's just the way that they are.
Dh and I, in a similar situation (but for totally different IF reasons) decided to pursue adoption. Dh and I feel blessed to be a part of adoption. We absolutely love all the people we have met along the way and are just so excited to be a part of the whole adoption process. We decided to adopt to build our family and the added bonus was this truly amazing feeling of belonging to a wonderful community.
I can't claim to understand why they aren't pursuing either tx for IF or adoption, but they are happy -- does it mean that they would be lesser parents because they aren't active fulltime in figuring out how to make that happen? I don't think so. It's just the way that they are -- and they're very happy content individuals.
I'm certainly not attacking anyone else's responses; I just wanted to add one more possible perspective. My best to all on this board!
Last edited by parent2b : 10-02-2004 at 03:59 AM.
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