[ad4ky]

I never post anything but this thread caught my eye, i am a male adoptee 39 years old. For the person who started this thread, im sorry but its one thing to be upset about you re-uniting with your son, it is all together a different matter to be treating your daughter bitter, considering you are helping him to raise his children. To me that is absolutely unacceptable and believe it or not she will remember this treatment, i can remember things back to the age of 4, she doesnt deserve it and personally no woman should tolerate a man behaving like that to their child. I am a man as i said earlier and i think that the thought of you having a son you gave up for adoption makes your husband think in the back of his mind that you were unfit especially considering the mother of his children was unfit, he probably thinks he got out of 1 relationship with a unfit woman and got back in one again. This is not my belief personally but this is what some men probably thinks, it is surely what some of his male friends would think if they knew of his prior relationship, and his current relationship with you and then they found out your son who was adopted is now on the scene. Men gossip more than women think and its all about image and how they are perceived by others so to me most men are shallow and ibmmature and behave like children if they are allowed to. Now for the rest of the women on the thread. No man ever wants to think his wife had a sexual history before him, however this is the year 2004 and almost everyone on the planet has a "history", i believe women should not tolerate a man acting ridiculous as if he has been let down, especially considering that most men if women knew their real history would never be capable of finding or keeping a good wife because most men's "histories" are absolutely shocking. Im not man-bashing but just want women to realize that most men do what you let them get away with and there comes a time when you just have to draw the line and say you deserve better, you deserve support and you deserve understanding for the situation. Most men, i hate to say this, but most men will lie and act like they are understanding and supportive because in the back of their mind they think that the adopted child will never show up so they lie and say anything you want to hear, and these are men who will always lie about anything when it is convienent for them until it comes time to step up to the plate and when that happens you get procrastination. So please demand the treatment you deserve, demand to get back what you give and stop letting them weasel out of being men except when they want to show off. As for your adopted children remember they are a part of you and i personally believe every adoptee deserves to stand face to face with the woman who brought them into this world even if only once, dont let a man stop you from just one face to face meeting with your baby, if your husband is not the birthfather, then realize he will never really understand, the good men/husbands will understand to a point but even then there is a realm of pain that only birthparents and adoptees know about and it can cause you soul to tremble. If i ever find my birth mother/father and they could only see me one time because of a spouse freaking out that would be fine, but im afraid that if they wont even look at me in the eyes just once then that i cannot forgive, they dont even have to speak just look me in the eye and for me all is forgiven but i personally do not want to leave this world without looking into the eyes of the one who brought me ino this world, so good luck ladies and for the supportive men/husbands i salute you and for the rest i'll go along with acting like a baby when you are sick, im guily of that but there comes a time to stand not behind your wife/partner, not for your wife/partner, but side by side with her.