[Cheryl62]

Crawfolf:

I was adopted through a County in Virginia too. My understanding of the rules is the same as what you were told, at least in my case (I was born loooonnnggg before 1994 LOL!).

I suppose that rule is there to protect adoptees who may not have been told they were adopted. It would be a bit of a shock to suddenly have the agency call you up and tell you your birthfamily was looking for you, if you didn't know you were adopted. I also am sure they do not keep up with the adoptive family, and probably have no way of knowing how she is doing or where she is living, without undergoing a search. I know it's frustrating... so many parts of this whole thing are frustrating...

The good news is - when she begins searching, the obvious place to start is to ask the State agency for non-ID information -- and at that point, she would be told how to contact you, and that you wanted to be "found". I strongly encourage you to leave contact information with them, and register on forums like this one. If you do - she will be so lucky to have such an easy way to find you, and the blessing of knowing how hard you tried to find her. Many of us adoptees wish to have been that lucky!

I hope she will search for you soon, and you will be reunited. I know waiting and wondering must be incredibly painful....

Cheryl