[Jensboys]

Hi everyone - I hope you dont mind me stopping by on your forum.

We are in a situation with our sons birthdad where he greatly regrets the adoption ... and is expressing that to our kids. Now some background ... our boys were adopted 5 years ago as a sib group from foster care. They were seized due to abuse and neglect. Boys are now 8 and 9 years old.

Birthdad has never really processed the loss of the kids until this year when he began corresponding with us (we had tried for several years to get him to). He has been in turn excited to talk with us, sad etc and now angry.

He is specifically telling the boys through letters that he wishes he was here to tuck them into bed and take them to practices etc. I am trying to be sensitive to his place in the grief process, while still protecting the kids - who have sufferred from various emotional issues as a result of abuse/separation/adoption etc.

For those of you that do feel regret ... do you share that with your child? How do they respond? Is there an appropriate way to handle this that is sensitive to the bdad while still supporting our childrens reality?

Please, any advice will be listened to. (lol except cutting him off -that will not happen).