[tobeafamily]

MOST of the domestic parental placement situations I've seen in the past three years involve total costs under $10K. The reason why you see so many online 'advertised' by agencies is BECAUSE they're so far out of the norm that there are few who are willing or able to afford them.

Only one family I know personally waited more than a year, and they were searching for their second child.

A few rules of thumb:

1. The more professionals and paraprofessionals (facilitators, referral services, networking services, etc.) involved, the higher the fees.

2. Check with SEVERAL agencies in your area, fees will vary widely. Look for ones that provide per-service fee structures and 'comprehensive' fee structures. If they don't readily itemize fees, avoid them.

3. I've seen more successful connections from personal networking than from agency or other third-party services. This is personally knowing now 14 families, only one of which was connected through an agency. All the others connected through their own advertising/searching and networking.

As far as situations:

1. Make a budget and STICK TO IT. If you aren't willing to help with living expenses, then don't. There are many situations that don't want/need or are even allowed to receive assistance with living.

I always think of living expenses this way: If you would help this person regardless of pregnancy and adoption plan, then help them now. If not, then don't. It's an act of charity and is non-recoverable should they decide not to place.

2. Same with medical - set your limits and stick to them. In the area of prenatal care, most women can access some kind of coverage, either through private insurance or state/federal programs.

HTH,

Regina