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Tiya:
We have placed an adopted son into residential. He will age out there, and it is agreed by the professionals, that he cannot be out on his own left to his own devices.
Have you talked to an attorney about admitting this???? Is the judge already aware of the circumstances ahead of time? I ask this, because we were able to have him placed, w/o having to go to court....OR without the CYS being involved at all.
It IS difficult to deal with these kids. IMO......many do NOT get better...and the key is that THEY must want to get better. Some may disagree....but our son spent four years in our home before leaving. It was one of the saddest and happiest days of our lives to see him go. He continues to show no improvement...and any affection we had for him, has gone. It was doubly hard to live with a 'child' who would have killed our other children.
Please feel free to pm me about this. This is NOT how adoption is supposed to be; yet it is NOT that uncommon to be in the position your family is in now. Please seek out an adoption support group as well as a good therapist. These two steps were monumental in the healing of our family...and myself. I felt like an utter failure; guilty to feel so good to have him gone and not have to run around to protect the other kids; angered that the state deliberately and unlawfully kept vital info from us previous to adoption; anger that the system failed him terribly and beyond help.
All of these emotions are normal.
Please talk to an attorney about the 'admitting to neglect'. This title, in some states, can have a horribly lasting effect to a family and individual. You shouldn't have to go this route in order to seek help for your child!!!!!!!
Most sincerely,
Linny
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