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He was really upset because my wife said she would talk about the child being adopted when he/she was older, 12-13-14. He started spouting off about how it should be done early and what she said was so horrible and dangerous! 1st off, she had a point that a 2-3-4 year old might not be ready to comprehend all the implications behind that. Besides, we've never adopted before, we don't know all the theory behind adoption. He can teach us, fine, but we're still worthy of getting a child, he doesn't need to talk down and belittle us.
Let's say an adoptive parent decided they would never tell the child? Is that grounds for being denied? If so, then they should make it clear up front that that is the stance you have to agree with as a CONDITION for adopting, rather than bring you in, ask you some questions then hold it against you! It's like a cop hiding behind a tree, looking for a reason to pull you over.
How about our philosophy of parenting? I told the agency straight up, that we weren't going to read any books, we where going old school, do what our parents did, parent on instinct, give values and stress education and be involved. The agency people said "That's fine, you don't need to read Dr. Spock", this guy is bothered by that too?
If they're going to give you the 3rd degree, why not just require certain conditions up front? Obviously, he has an agenda about how he wants children raised and wants to either bully NORMAL, CAPABLE people, with good family values, into either agreeing to do it his way, based on the theory he ascribes to or deny them.
It almost feels like you won't have the right to parent as you wish and it's wrong.
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