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Hello, I am sure you might have heard some of this before, that different states differ in thier rules regarding foster to adopt. Make sure your state is one that supports this kind of adoption. There are also different interpretations of it as well. One is actually doing foster care in hopes that the child can remain with you for adoption. Another is legal risk, which is (in our state) when the state is in the process of TPR, but it's not yet complete, and you have been chosen as an adoptive placement. I appologize if I am telling you something you already know. If you don't mind me adding my 2 cents, make sure before you take in a child you hear other people's stories. It can be an extremely painful road to go down and I am speaking from experience.
We introduced our son as a prospective adoptive placement but made sure people knew it was risky as he was technically foster. We also introduced him as "hopefully our son forever".
Because I have a 3 year old in the home who calls me Mommy. I have been Mama or Mommy to our fson. I want him to know me as mommy because there is a good chance we will be adopting him.
Our fson is only 10 mo. but as far as what we were refered to around his mom, we were called his foster mom. That is how I introduced myself. If he could talk and say I was his mom, I would hope his bmom would understand that I am mom in our home. I would never force him to call me that though. I honestly don't know how confused a child would be by 2 women calling themselves "mom".
Good luck with the process. I hope I wasn't too intrusive with my suggestions or telling you what you already know. I do wish you the best.
Melissa
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