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hi scottandjoc
off the subject a minute...joco was my nickname in highschool...its funny seeing it in print...though joc...it brought back memories...
anyway, you might want to talk to your husband to talk to his union rep about adoption........
with adopted kids, it is crusial that he and you have time with the children to attach......
it is a matter of mental health and a successful adoption....
yes, birth and adoption are different...birth kids are attached to caregivers when they are born, some say even when the baby is in the womb....
you, as parents, will not have that chance....so it is very important that both you and your husband are home with your children so the children have time to attach...attachment doesnt happen when a child is placed in your home...it takes time...
the children need to know who you are and who your husband is.
plus, some say that no one should pick up your children but you for a while because they need to know who is the caregiver....quite different then birth children where everyone picks up the baby when he/she comes home
some say that each parent should take off 6 mo, i know its impossible to do this for some, like ourselves.....but we both had three months off when our first son came....
you need for them to listen....attachment is the key to adopted kids, and if your not there, how are these kids going to attach...
you might want to tell your husband to state his case around having time off for his kids to attach...
maybe he can go on disability, family leave, something....but you both should be there....these children need to know who mommy and daddy are...not just mommy or not just daddy....
its just an idea to get across to your husbands job...
these are not birth kids, these are adopted kids, and it is very important that you both have time to bond and attach to the kids, as well as give them a chance to bond and attach....
he needs that time off.....he should demand it....no matter how they work it out....he needs to take his earned time when the kids come.
dadfor2
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