Sweetie...
I am so sorry you feel so low. Unselfish ladies like yourself deserve only the best but seem to have to go through the suffering before things get better.
My daughter will be doing the same thing in the next few weeks. I know it'll be the absolute hardest thing she'll ever have to do. And I'm sure I won't be able to comfort her at times anymore than I'll be able to comfort you. However, being someone who works with young people for a living I can tell you that the absolute best thing you can EVER do for a kid you love is to give him/her GREAT parents. I'm sure you would have been one (just like my sweet daughter) but either the time isn't good, or the father isn't a good situation, etc.
I'll keep you in my prayers and hope you'll feel your heavy load lift some as time goes by. Go take a walk and hold your head up high knowing you did something incredibly selfless and giving!!!
With Love and admiration for your courage,
Deanna
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