[klkillian]

As a foster parent who has been through visits with a bio Mom, I can not agree more. I had a little girl who was taken at birth, due to removal of 4 other children. I spent Thursdays waiting by the phone to see if she was going to be able to keep her scheduled visit on Friday. More times than not, she canelled, for whatever reason, or did not even bother to call.

Bio Mom was given 13 conditions 3 years ago when the first 4 were removed. To this day she has not met a single one of the them, and the kids still have not been TPR'd. Our little girl, M, is now 2.

The longer these kids stay in an uncertain environment, the less their chances of attachment to a permanent placement are. We had one of the original 4 that was removed. He was removed at 3, we got him at 4, and he was already suffering from attachment disorder. We no longer have them, not by our choice, but they are floating in the system. When, and by who they will be adopted remains to be seen.

At age 6 and a half, K, runs a very strong risk of never attaching in his life, and becoming unadoptable. His behaviors, his fears, and his angers tell the world to keep away. He was begining to attach to us (17 month placement) when he was taken away. He has been in his current placement for almost a year now, and they have made no commitment to adopt him, because of his behaviors. M is borderline on attaching. She went through some major trauma when she was taken from our home at 14 months.

I would take them both back in a heart beat and adopt both of them the minute they became available!! Why after 2 and 3 years are the TPRs not done, and these kids not allowed to get on with their lives?? Bio Mom obviously is not going to change her life. In fact,she is currently sitting in jail for 1 year on a felony child assault charge, but the kids still aren't freed for adoption.