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I think you need to do whatever is best for the whole family. It's great for adoptive children to know they are loved by many people and to be told the truth and the children are of course our first priority. But everyone in the family matters. I have sent letters and pictures to the birthmother for the first few years and I understand the birthmother made the best choice she could at the time. But we are his family now and we are the ones who chose to raise him so I feel that we alone should make the choices that are best for our family. I wouldn't feel guilty if you decide that your child needs the love and security of just you and your husband for now and maybe later you can share some information on the birthmother. I think there is alot of attention given to birthmothers which is okay, but in the end, you are the ones who have all the emotional, legal and financial responsibility and you should feel no obligation to share your life right now with the birthmother...if you don't want to.
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