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Hi,
We also did an independent adoption, complete with a toll-free number that forwarded to my cell phone if we weren't home, so we were "on call" potentially 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. YES it can be nervewracking!
A few things DH and I discovered in the process of answering the "baby phone" include:
- a lot of the time, the expectant parent is waaaaay more nervous and unsure of what to say than you are! We found that it helped to have a sort of "preamble" ready to start into in case the person calling didn't really know what to say. This actually happened maybe 3 or 4 times; the caller was there but was quiet, so we would then say "Thanks so much for calling; we assume you are calling about our potential adoptive parent profile? Let me tell you a little bit about us......" and then we'd just give a sort of introductory blurb. That seemed to give the caller a few moments to adjust to the call and to (hopefully) see that we were friendly and easy to talk to. Each time, the person calling would respond to our intro blurb and begin talking.
- people were more inclined to hang up if they heard a man's voice on the phone (ie when DH would answer it) so I became the "primary answerer" whenever possible. A few times someone would call, hang up when hearing DH answer, then call back and actually talk when I'd answer instead. HOWEVER, there were some callers who, later on after we'd been talking, appreciated that I offered to have DH talk to them too, and then they did, in fact, talk with him for a bit. I'd say "Well, my husband is here and he'd love to speak with you if you'd like and he'd be happy to answer any questions you might have...." and there they'd go!
- be prepared for lots of hang-ups and even crank calls. Don't let them get you down. One weekend we had hang-ups repeatedly all day Sat and Sun. The caller finally got up the nerve to actually talk to us late, late, LATE Sunday night.
We really just tried to put ourselves in the caller's shoes in terms of how it must feel to pick up the phone and call someone you've never met. We found that the more prepared we were to just start talking and giving info about ourselves, the easier it was - and also not asking lots of questions right off the bat to the caller helped too.
Hope this info is helpful. Good luck to you in your adoption journey!
Heather
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