|
I think it is important to be clear about a few things. First and foremost...becoming a parent, by any means, creates a whole new set of life rules. We Moms are no longer allowed to do and say things based on how we "feel". Feelings are not some sacred thing to be obeyed at all costs. There will be times where more experienced and well meaning parents will have to re-direct us when we make a mistake. That is what this thread is to me. A parent proposing a terrible mistake. Perhaps there is some truth that "misery loves company" but it is NOT the supportive thing to do. (IMO) To say that it hurts to see the baby calling another woman Mom is understandable. To indulge those feelings are not. Being Mom means being strong and doing what is best for your child. How you FEEL doesn't mean a whole lot oftentimes. In this case I believe that closing the adoption would be an extremely regretted move. But I believe even more strongly that you can't pick and choose when you feel up to fulfilling your role in a child's life. I believe the wording was that pictures and letters would be ok to make AJ feel better about knowing the child was ok. Sorry, but that is NOT about providing information for the child. That is all about BMom. I am blessed to have had a few harsh words directed my way when I was tempted to fall prey to self pity along my parenting career. Had I given in, my life today would be a much worse life. I learned. As a result I intend to teach. The main lesson is...feelings are second to the well being of the child. If that is mean, so be it. Debi
|