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Sorry, one last thought...
you said you're "forced to 'deal' and you don't know how"
I honestly think this the heart of the issue. IMHO, I think you'll find that you still have to "deal" even if you back away... deep down, you know someone else is his mommy, and whether you see him or not wont' make that go away. (Although I do understand that not seeing him means it's not being rubbed in your face.)
Have you joined a birthmom support group? If you went through an agency, they may have one. Or you can pm Brenda, she may know of one you could join in your area....
You can also feel free to pm me (and many other bmoms here, I'll bet)--we'd LOVE to share in some mutual support!
Other things that have helped me through this: writing about my feelings, talking to people....
Nicole
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