[SchmennaLeigh]

Disconnected,

Strange. My fiance and I have a similar story to yours, though no children of our own. If you would like to talk to either myself or him, please let me know. I watched him become emotionally attached to my child and then have to deal with letting her go. He was ready to parent when that was on the plate and then, instead, had to try and distance himself. Are you sure you're the only one carrying the guilt? Because I see my fiance and his pain at having to know that Munchkin is no longer with us... and I hurt. Physically and emotionally. I wish I had never put him through the emotional roller coaster of misery.

If you want to talk to him, let me know. I'd have to prep him with your story. He does try to distance himself a bit from everything as his way of dealing.

And, as for your question in the title, due to the fact that Josh was around and the birthfather was not during the adoption decision process, he is very much considered a relative by the adoptive family. Munchkin, during visits, acts as though she remembers his voice because he used to talk to her in my tummy. We have become extended family.

I wish you the best.