[artchick]

Hi Court--
I can understand your sense of loss. Our "yet unidentified child" would have been my mother's first grandchild and she was just aching to be a grandmother. She died less than a year ago and it is so difficult to think about mothering for the first time without her to coach me (even though we butted heads quite often!)

We always want our children to carry on our best family traits or something that reminds us of someone we love. Maybe your child(ren) will have your mother's sense of humor. I'm hoping that for my child.

Part of your feelings may be grief about not having a bio. child plus the grief of losing your mom. My opinion is that it is always a good idea to explore grief, feel your feelings and not try to skip over the difficult part. There is no shame in grief but it's not easy.

Amy