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I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. My mother passed away suddenly also about 2 1/2 years ago. In fact, during our last face to face conversation, she was asking when she was going to have some grandchildren. We had already started trying, but I just joked with her about it. I really wish now I would have let her know we had already started trying. I guess I don't really have an answer to your question, but I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am for your loss. I guess what most bothers me is not that there won't be a genetic connection, but that my mom wanted so badly to be a grandparent, and now she will never get to, but I completely understand where you are coming from. My sister does not have any interest in having children, so our genetic lineage stops with us.
I know I plan to let my adopted child know who his/her grandmother was through stories about her and in a way, she will live on through that. I know that I will strive to be as good a parent as she was and always put my child first as she did, so her influence will always be felt in that sense. Maybe you can come up with some ways to let your child really get a sense of the person she was through stories, or favorite foods, or hobbies. That way, both of you will have fond memories of her legacy.
Take care,
Beth
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