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A shower is always fun but I would just encourage you to do whatever you are comfortable with. If you feel like it is too much for you, don't do it. It's best for all of you to decide now what you are comfortable with, then to try to work things out after the fact. We're in a very different situation so I know that is shading my advice right now, but we are in a sense doing just that. The bfather is hinting at being a bigger part of our lives than we expected or intended, and we're not sure what to do about it.
I find LisaCa's comment about being flattered by the bgrandparents thinking of them as another set of parents to the bmother very interesting. We had a visit this past weekend and the bgma said something very similar -- and I am the same age as her son! (25) I guess for me, it's just a little more than I thought I was in for.
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