[bellazmama]

Well, first, my DH was displeased with the idea that we had to adopt due to my medical condition (diabetes) as he had always pictured himself with biological children. It wasn't that he was being mean to me or was against adoption per se, he was just so certain that he would have biological children.

So I dragged him to the adoption agency for our first meeting. It was pretty grim. Our couinselor suggested he find out more about my condition and how I would be affected by a pregnancy, so I dragged him to my doctor's office, where the facts were explained to him. He was still grieving what he was going to "lose", but he came on board and we went through the homestudy process. The self-study questions were very in-depth and allowed him to work through most of his reluctance. He did, however, insist we adopt a healthy white infant.

That said, we had two adoptions fall though. We took ourselves off the waiting list for the summer while we regrouped emotionally and spiritually. I was a wreck, but he had come around so that he was the strong, certain one that we needed to continue once I was ready. What a change!!!

Even better, once we went on the list, he agreed that we needed to be more open to what God had in store for us as a family. So, we went back on the "healthy white infant" list but ALSO went on the "health other race" list. In April of 2002, we picked up our angel, a gorgeous Biracial baby we named Bella.

Give him time. Talk to a counselor or social worker. My husband thanks me literally every day for being so persistant when his little girl calls him "Daddy."

Best of luck!

Sarah