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Ok, I realize it's been quite awhile since anyone posted to this thread, but I found it interesting.
I think I tend to agree with whoever said that husbands do not like to think of their wives with another man before them, nor do many of them want to admit that they married a woman who got pregnant out of wedlock and put the baby up for adoption. I wonder if these same men would have married the mother if she had kept the baby? I told my husband about Rachel when we were dating. I even once asked him if we would even be together at all had I decided to keep her, and he had admitted that No, we wouldn't. At least he was honest enough to admit that he wasn't ready to be a father, especially to another man's child. However, he, like most of the husbands posted on here, has said that if Rachel ever comes looking for me, he would welcome her with open arms. I don't know how he would feel if I ever went searching for Rachel, but (and I know this probably sounds cold and heartless) I really have no intentions of looking for her. I think it's kind of like anything else: It's easy to say, Yeah, no problem when the situation is still years away. It's different when it's time to pay the piper. I think, however, our situation may be different as my husband was in a similar (I say similar, but not exact) situation in high school. It's part of what brought us together, and had I kept Rachel, I don't think my husband and I would be together because my life would not have lead me that direction. Our lives simply never would have crossed.
I think it's perfectly valid for a husband to have his feelings and opinions--he's going to develop them anyway. However, if he's going to act in a hateful manner towards you, I think you have the right to know why. It is not fair to you or him to keep it all bottled up inside and can only lead to bigger resentment issues in the end. Possibly part of the reason why the thread-starter's husband won't talk about it is because he knows how ridiculous his reasoning is. Sometimes when it finally comes out, you realize how stupid it sounded.
As for Nicole, Wow! What a trying situation for both of you. Perhaps Matt is just confused. Part of him kinda wanted to keep the baby and now wishes that he had, and part of him is secretly relieved that you put her up for adoption. And maybe he feels guilty for what he said to you in the hospital and is concerned that influenced your decision and now he feels responsible for your decision to place her.
And, of course, men will never say any of this themselves.
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