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i will say that going to the orphanage for the first time and going to your court appearance are VERY stressful. i had the first true anxiety attack i had ever had and hyperventilated for about 3 hours on the way to the orphanage. i could only breathe tiny breathes into my hand. i told my driver and translator that i was pretty nervous, they said that i would be ok. they didn't know what i was going through. there is so much buildup for a year and then its down to the final moments. i took medication with me on trip two - i didn't want to go through that again. now it is kind of humerous - but not then. i was way out in the middle of nowhere, thousands of miles from my family, accepting the responsibility of a new child, and hoping to make a good impression - and there wasn't a toilet anywhere and i drank too much coffee!!
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