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GMH,
I didn't mean you were cold exactly, just wondered which side of the world you were moving to now. I am a bit confused by your points, so I think I will list my own, from experience, and see what you think.
1. Always remember that you are not related by life, just by blood.
2. There is only one mother, the adoptive mother. I just gave my daughter life, her real mother rasied her.
3. Pushing is never allowed.
4. Get to know each other, just as you would any person you were meeting for the first time.
5. Never, ever , lie. This is the most important.
6. You are who you are, no better, no worse than anybody else, you do not have to prove anything.
7. If it works out, it does, if it doesn't you are no worse off than before.
8. Always be happy for the little golden crumbs, I got that from Banjo, and treasure them.
9. Do not go in expecting everything to be just they way you always dreamed, it never is, nor could it ever be. Nobody can ever live up to that.
10. Think with your heart, and not your head, it keeps you from making more out of things than there really are.
11. Always remember the love, lost or not, that you felt at the beginning , don't ever give up on hope, and never judge.
I could go on forever, but I won't put you through that. Mostly, I treat my daughter, as I treat all my children, as I am not what anybody would call a "normal" mother. I treat my children with respect, and I value everything that they are, and everything they will become, and I raise them to believe in trust, and each other, I don't talk down to them, or expect that they can not understand, I explain what I can, and try to lead by example. I am sorry for your birthmother, in a way, she is missing out again, and you, are too, even tho you won't ever admit it. Like I said before, I don't really care if you ever talk to her, or not, I don't know her, nor do I need to. I am here because I like talking to you. So whatever you decide to do, I'm in your corner. You are healed, you don't need a book or anybody to tell you that. You healed yourself, the day you got mad enough to shut her out of your life. It was a brave, and honest thing to do, and anybody who says different, just doesn't know, how hard it was.
Now, I will close, so you can compose some nasty evil responce, but give it your best shot, cause I don't care what you say, I'll still keep writing.
Love,
Colleen
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