[sugarbabysmommy]

I am sending you a PM. Let me just say what I think you already know, there is no going back, you can only move forward with your daughter. Rather than make pronouncements about what she can and can't handle, what will and won't matter to her future, ask her what she can and can't handle, what matters to her. She may only be seventeen, but she is a smart, thinking, and feeling girl who is cleary trying to process something very large. Let her know you are by her side.

Start reading, reading online, reading books from all perspectives in adoption. And hopefully, your daughter never hears or reads that you think the things she is saying are crazy. Imagine having to figure out something so huge and being told it's all just crazy talk. I know you are afraid, remember she may be too.

And, whatever you do, never speak poorly of her birthmother, no matter what you may think or fear in the recesses of your mind. If you think and speak poorly of who she was born to, she may believe you think poorly of her as well.

I'm going to PM you with some book ideas and web site ideas for articles written by adoptees.

take care,