I found my bMom in May 2004. When I went to meet her in June both my (a) parents came. At 1 point my bMom took my aMom aside and they chatted. I believe the conversation was similiar to the one blankenb4 would have if she gets the chance.
Anyway, my parents have been great thru this whole thing. I think my Mom was relieved that my bMom wasn't a nut! (I mean, look at me!!!)
Maybe as things progress between you and bMom, both your Moms can meet. That may make it easier on her.
Mary