I finally called a meeting with my worker to find out what is going on and why things seem to not be happening AT ALL. We talked for a loong time and I feel much much better and more optimistic. I think she finally gets it. She was looking at the front of my assessment (which she typed) where it had all my agency contacts so far and said, "Wow, you've been at this a long time, no wonder you're frustrated."
Thanks for noticing. Also, I had not been particularly happy with my assessment. It seemed very vague and impersonal, like it was written by someone who didn't know me at all (hmmm wonder why). And really went way overboard about how I'm soooo unexperienced, almost as if I've never met a child before, let alone one with "special needs". She took a lot of notes, and will be "making some changes" to it. I think she has a much better idea of who I am and how much I am into this, all the research I've done and classes and events I've attended. She was very reassuring, which is her job of course, but I feel like it was sincere. Anyway, I'm back to being happy and excited about the whole thing. Almost enough to try to get back into my very stalled remodeling projects that need to be done before a kid comes.
I didn't even have to threaten her with the Maybe I'll Just Give Birth speech that I had planned. haha