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I believe that when possible open adoption is a great option for all in the triad, especially the adoptee. The thing is that open adoptions are as different as the people involved. I say don't limit yourself and make the decision on how open to be as the relationship developes. I am not saying to be dishonest but to be thoughtful and consider openness on a case by case basis.
Instead of going in saying I will only consider a closed adoption say let's get to know each other first and then agree together how much or how little contact we will have. Also make sure there is a mechanism for adjusting that contact as time goes on. For instance even in a closed adoption there should be a way for the members of the triad to contact each other in case of emergency or an evolution of the relationship.
lisa
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