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It looks like you've been given some really good advice. Take some time with your spouse or partner to read up on open adoption and make a decision that you are comfortable with.
I am a birthmom in an open adoption. My daughter turned two this week. She lives one state away. I see her a few times a year, and I have frequent phone and email contact with her parents. There is no question about who her mommy is. She knows her amom is her mom. Her parents already talk to her about her adoption and who I am, even though she's too young to understand it. I would never dream of interfering with their parenting decisions or telling them what to do.
I chose open adoption because I felt it was best for my birthdaughter. Visits are wonderful, but they are also very hard for me. But I go because I think it's in her best interests in the long term.
You asked if your preference for a closed adoption would make it harder to adopt. Perhaps. But perhaps not. You never know. If you are not comfortable with visits - and many people are not - consider doing a semi-open adoption with letters and photos. Some agencies will act as a mediator for you, sending letters back and forth between birth and adoptive parents. That way you could still have information on the biological family, which your child would probably appreciate.
Remember, no two adoptions are alike because no two couples or birthparents are alike. Your adoption can be as open or closed as you and the birthfamily are comfortable with. Just be honest about what you want, and I'm sure you'll find the right match for you.
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