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I am the same way pretty much. I think that when I read about these very open situations that I am missing that gene. Many amoms talk about how great it is and I applaud them but it would make me nervous.
It would not be my personal choice to have visits from the bmom after finalization either. I am a very shy person to begin with and I think I would feel very uncomfortable, clearly like I was the third wheel.
We have always maintained that we are seeking a semi-open situation with a meeting in the hospital before placement and letters and pictures through the agency after.
In fact we turned down a match because the bmom was looking for direct contact with us and we were not comfortable with that. Our agency (at the time) made us feel very guilty about turning it down, but we felt certain that it was ultimately unfair to the bmom to present ourselves as anything but completely up-front with full honesty. I know we did the right thing.
Good luck and know that adoption comes in every color of the rainbow not just black and white.
Robyn
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Blessed by adoption
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